Jersey Girl altyazı (46190)

{792}{856}Everyone, please take|your seats. You heard the bell.
{858}{924}You know what it means.|Last week,
{926}{1100}the assignment was|to write an essay about your family.
{1102}{1185}- Who they...|- Are!
{1187}{1235}And what they...
{1237}{1291}Mean to us!
{1293}{1377}Excellent droning. So I want|everyone to take out their essays.
{1382}{1489}We're going to read them aloud|to the class right up here.
{1507}{1693}My mom says that me and my dad|have very healthy appetites.
{1694}{1760}My mom and dad are very religious.
{1762}{1875}When they're in their bedroom at night,|I always hear them yelling, "Jesus!"
{1877}{2020}My mom says my dad's eyes are brown|because he is so full of sh...
{2022}{2045}Brian!
{2072}{2128}My brother Jack is in eighth grade.
{2130}{2193}He told me to ask my dad|who he voted for...
{2194}{2238}for... for President.
{2240}{2313}I did and my Dad said|he's a total Bush-man.
{2315}{2391}That made my brother laugh really hard.
{2417}{2505}Whenever my Uncle Stu|comes over to play pool with my dad,
{2506}{2629}my mom says the basement smells|like a Cheech and Chong movie.
{2631}{2690}Well... it's like this.
{2692}{2755}My dog ate my paper.
{2757}{2805}I checked, but he didn't poop it out.
{2854}{2901}What a lovely sentiment,|Mr. Etheridge.
{2902}{2987}Maybe your dog can eat the zero|you'll be receiving too.
{2989}{3081}- Aw, man!|- Harsh.
{3082}{3158}Miss Trinke?|It's your turn now.
{3458}{3541}My dad says life can be|split into two categories:
{3542}{3617}New Jersey... and New York.
{3938}{3994}My dad was a Jersey boy|who became the youngest
{3995}{4070}and most successful music publicist|in New York City.
{4072}{4171}By the time he was 27,|he had 100 people working for him.
{4173}{4283}And even though they all loved him,|he loved them even more.
{4285}{4368}My fellow flacks and spin doctors.
{4383}{4420}Salud.
{4422}{4529}Daddy loved his job,|but not as much as he loved my mom.
{4544}{4627}Mommy was a book editor in|New York City when her and Daddy met.
{4629}{4689}Daddy said theirjobs|were kind of the same...
{4690}{4757}they made slight corrections|for their clients.
{4758}{4896}Because George Michael is a pimp|who is all about the ladies, my friend.
{4898}{4981}Come on, "I Want Your Sex"?|That sound like he's singing to a guy?
{5002}{5103}Daddy worked so much that sometimes|Mommy could only see him late at night.
{5122}{5205}Daddy says that's why they|both loved the city so much -
{5206}{5254}it never went to sleep.
{5309}{5374}And neither did him and Mommy.
{5377}{5440}But after a year of romance|in New York City,
{5442}{5509}Daddy said it was time|to show Mommy where he came from.
{5535}{5636}So he took her home to New Jersey|and put her through what he said
{5638}{5725}was the biggest test|their love would ever face:
{5727}{5786}"Introducing her to my pop. "
{5853}{5901}- Hey, how are ya?|- How're ya doin'?
{5902}{5959}- How're ya doin' yourself?|- This is Gertrude.
{5961}{6026}Hi. Merry Christmas.
{6059}{6166}- And what do you do, Mr. Trinke?|- Easy on the "Mr. Trinke". It's Bart.
{6167}{6218}I work for the borough,|for 30 years now.
{6220}{6302}He's the only man in Highlands|licensed to operate the street sweeper.
{6304}{6381}Oh, man, I always wanted|to ride in one of those things.
{6382}{6477}Well, you continue seeing my son,|I can probably get you a turn at the wheel.
{6479}{6573}I was only gonna sleep with him|a few more times and then dump him,
{6574}{6613}but now, after an offer like that...
{6615}{6677}Holy shit.|Listen to the mouth on this one!
{6678}{6736}Oh, yeah, they don't make 'em|like Mom anymore, do they, Dad?
{6738}{6818}- Now, listen, I'm goin' to the bar.|- What a shock.
{6819}{6902}If you guys are gonna do anything|while I'm gone, stay the hell off of my bed.
{6903}{7009}- You're going to a bar?|- Didn't he tell ya? I'm an alcoholic.
{7010}{7102}- Well, I wanna go to the bar too.|- No, you don't wanna go to this bar.
{7104}{7174}It's a bunch of old guys talkin' about|how good they had it under Kennedy.
{7176}{7229}The man was a goddamn saint.
{7231}{7323}I'm goin' to the bar with your dad.|You can come if you want.
{7325}{7372}No, that's OK.|I'll stay here and do the dishes.
{7374}{7419}I only cooked.|Why shouldn't I clean?
{7421}{7486}Suit yourself.|But don't wash that pan.
{7488}{7594}I got a layer of juice built up for the pork|roll, and I don't want you scrubbin' it off.
{7596}{7643}That "juice" is called grease, Dad.
{7645}{7695}It's bad for you.|It clogs your arteries.
{7697}{7780}It's called juice.|And it greases a father's insides
{7782}{7869}so that he can better swallow|the shit his son feeds him twice a year
{7870}{7918}when he can be bothered|coming to visit him.
{7938}{8014}So that night,|Daddy took Mommy to Pop's bar,
{8037}{8098}where she got to meet|Pop's other children,
{8100}{8159}his best friends Greenie and Block.
{8179}{8243}Hey, your kid's cuttin' a rug.
{8353}{8393}Who are you, Connie Chung?
{8431}{8545}Daddy said, because Mommy|survived her first trip to Jersey,
{8546}{8598}he knew she was a keeper.
{8716}{8859}He said they celebrated their|engagement by going out for pizza.
{8882}{8945}And that's how I got here.
{8946}{9010}Do we have enough of these at home,|or should I steal some?
{9012}{9080}If you're gonna steal something,|steal some rubber gloves.
{9426}{9509}- Thank you!|- You're welcome!
{9533}{9623}And with that,|everyone lived happily ever after.
{9639}{9674}Almost.
{9675}{9737}Look, you've got two minutes,|and then we have to go, OK?
{9738}{9792}- Or I'm gonna leave.|- Would you stop rushing me?
{9794}{9879}I don't understand how somebody who had|all day sitting around to get ready
{9881}{9923}waits till 20 minutes|before we have to leave!
{9925}{9978}You try getting anything accomplished|with this big gut in your way!
{9980}{10059}This is one of the few days of the year|that I can be fired for being late!
{10061}{10180}Anytime that you wanna carry this baby,|Ollie, you let me know! OK?
{10182}{10257}I would be glad to go back to wearing|regular dresses instead of this tent!