Little Manhattan altyazı (72817)

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For those of you out there
less experienced than me...

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...let me tell you something
about girls.

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They're basically gross.

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See, this is pretty much
black-and-white...

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...from where I'm standing.

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Used to be, back in the day...

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...maybe first or second grade...

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...popular wisdom was
they gave you cooties.

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Cooties?

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She touched me! Cooties!

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Don't touch me!

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Cooties!
He has cooties!

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We didn't know what cooties
were exactly.

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But the general feeling was,
if a girl touched you...

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...some very, very bad things
were gonna happen.

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How right we were.

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This is me now.

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I've been in love for
two-and-a-half weeks...

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...and it's a pain I wouldn't wish
on my worst enemies.

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I'm not going
to dress this up pretty.

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Just about everything I know
about women...

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...love, and the birds
and the frickin' bees...